Crusader Kings 3 player complained that the AI engaged his heir grandson to a 58-year-old widow – but it turned out that other gamers often do the same thing themselves

A medieval dynasty simulator promises full control over bloodlines, marriages, and succession. Until one day a player discovers that their grandson – and future heir – has already been betrothed to a widow old enough to be his great-grandmother.

That's exactly what happened to a Crusader Kings 3 player. Their grandson and heir ended up betrothed to a 58-year-old widow, and it wasn't a human who made that call – it was the AI. The complaint was blunt: five years after release, gigabytes of DLC, and the game still can't handle basic marriage mechanics.

Look closer, though, and the apparent nonsense turns out to be a pretty clever calculation. The bride brought an alliance with the Kingdom of Alba – immediate military backing – and by the time the groom came of age, she'd likely be dead anyway, freeing him up for a fresh, fertile marriage. Add in the prestige boost for landing a high-status match, which the game hands out just for marrying into nobility.

The funniest part is that players do exactly the same thing, on purpose. One commenter put it bluntly:

Players: AI is so unrealistic. Also players: marrying 58 year old woman to prevent early heir with short reign

The logic checks out: a pile of kids by age fifty means fragmented titles and a civil war a generation down the line, while a barren marriage with an alliance attached is pure profit.

The real issue lies elsewhere, and it's purely mechanical. Once an heir gets landed with their own title, their court stops being yours, and grandchildren slip out of your direct control. There's a workaround based on the difference between two options: "Find Spouse" only works on people physically present at your own court, while "Arrange Marriage" works from the opposite direction – click on the candidate you want on the map, and the list of potential matches will include not just courtiers but direct descendants too, even ones sitting in someone else's court in a different dynasty. This also works for matrilineal marriages and for heirs of higher-ranked rulers.

There are cruder ways around the automation too: take the grandson in as a ward so he moves in with you before coming of age, bring him back to your court once he's an adult, or just handle it the radical way and send the inconvenient spouse to an early grave through intrigue. You need to act before age 12–16, though, before the AI locks in a betrothal on its own.

Medieval monarchs married whoever they were told to, and in Crusader Kings 3 that tradition lives on faithfully – except now, instead of a tyrannical father, it's a line of code calling the shots.